wit, constant learning and knowledge.
a Ravenclaw at heart.
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Helped by xoxo
its 2:22am. And i just couldn't say goodnight to Friday without writing this blog.
I did not shed a single tear when I saw her lying in the coffin.
Honestly, I felt happy for her, she wanted liberation from her suffering, she didn't want to continue her life, we should be happy for her shouldn't we? She got what she wanted, just through a very foolish and selfish way.
I felt sad and the realisation of her departure only struck me when i occasionally have flashbacks of the times we spent together. Apart from that, I don't feel sad, most of the time i feel disappointed, concerned for the living and angry, somewhat.
We all know funerals are held for the living people. When i saw my snow sister broke down in painful tears after taking the first look at the coffin, the weight of that statement struck me.
I was concerned.
She was liberated from her suffering, she got what she wanted. But she left clouds and shadows of depression upon all of us. Its as if she passed on her sadness and depression. She made it even easier or possible for the people who knew her, who are also suffering from severe depression, to follow her footsteps.
Selfish.
She wasn't the only one suffering from depression honestly. There are tons and millions of people suffering from depression everyday. Its a first world issue. We all carry a certain weight of depression in us, just the matter of severity.
You can't say that you had enough of it. How can you? It would contradict the very foundation of God's grace being sufficient for your everyday needs. That's if you believe in it, still.
You fight back. You step back, take a moment, focus on happy things, engage with human beings and let them pull you back up to the surface, and you fight back.
And the same thing happens again when it strikes back.
You are never done with fighting depression. You just get stronger with every instance you managed to overcome it.
You accumulate experience, you gather confidence and strength. Bit by bit. You fight back.
The battle doesn't end. But you get stronger. Or you try, at least.
Utter selfishness.
All the young people who looked up to her, i bet they all feel shocked, disbelief and even betrayed?
She was so cool, she was so capable, she achieved so much but yet she couldn't make it, how can I then? Im not as good as her. Even she can't pull through, how can i?
how much of such thoughts are going through the younger ones' minds now.
a Ravenclaw at heart.
Helped by xoxo
9.4. 2.22
Saturday, April 9, 2016
its 2:22am. And i just couldn't say goodnight to Friday without writing this blog.
I did not shed a single tear when I saw her lying in the coffin.
Honestly, I felt happy for her, she wanted liberation from her suffering, she didn't want to continue her life, we should be happy for her shouldn't we? She got what she wanted, just through a very foolish and selfish way.
I felt sad and the realisation of her departure only struck me when i occasionally have flashbacks of the times we spent together. Apart from that, I don't feel sad, most of the time i feel disappointed, concerned for the living and angry, somewhat.
We all know funerals are held for the living people. When i saw my snow sister broke down in painful tears after taking the first look at the coffin, the weight of that statement struck me.
I was concerned.
She was liberated from her suffering, she got what she wanted. But she left clouds and shadows of depression upon all of us. Its as if she passed on her sadness and depression. She made it even easier or possible for the people who knew her, who are also suffering from severe depression, to follow her footsteps.
Selfish.
She wasn't the only one suffering from depression honestly. There are tons and millions of people suffering from depression everyday. Its a first world issue. We all carry a certain weight of depression in us, just the matter of severity.
You can't say that you had enough of it. How can you? It would contradict the very foundation of God's grace being sufficient for your everyday needs. That's if you believe in it, still.
You fight back. You step back, take a moment, focus on happy things, engage with human beings and let them pull you back up to the surface, and you fight back.
And the same thing happens again when it strikes back.
You are never done with fighting depression. You just get stronger with every instance you managed to overcome it.
You accumulate experience, you gather confidence and strength. Bit by bit. You fight back.
The battle doesn't end. But you get stronger. Or you try, at least.
Utter selfishness.
All the young people who looked up to her, i bet they all feel shocked, disbelief and even betrayed?
She was so cool, she was so capable, she achieved so much but yet she couldn't make it, how can I then? Im not as good as her. Even she can't pull through, how can i?
how much of such thoughts are going through the younger ones' minds now.